Your Words Are Poison

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all ..............

Nobody?

I supposed to pack my bag and say Auf Wiedersehen to the main land. 

But there's two things to be done before I leave. And I can fly home cause I don't have a passport.

As my family told me before they will support me if I go back to school. 

Finding a job, it's not easy. Then plan B starts, if it won't work, then plan C.

So tried to thinking all the crap, I've been talked to my mom all day.

But one of the most important is Kwan. She's the only person I can talk.

I knew her before 1st grade. We lived not far away from each other.

We went the same class til 4th grade.  She was born with the brain, that was why she was sent

directly to a class with top pupils.

I'm glad to hear her voice, haven't talked her since summer.

She's always been my big support. For example when people say I have a big butt and big legs. 

I don't think is their problems? 

And I say it back right away, you're not perfect. Then they were angry.

Why say something negative to the others? But can never accept when we say it back.

So strange? I never judge them but why they do.

Then Kwan gave me advice, if they want to say, let them do it. You're great the way you are.

Kwan always explained things in a good way and tried to calm myself. 

I think cause she's a nurse student, none of my friends is like her.

She has that calm of voice, it made me so calm. We talked about everything.

She asked : what's going on? I answered : it's hard to say but I just wanna call you before I call a doctor. You give good advice.

She asked with surprising voice : A doctor? Serious? 

I said : ........ People mention I should try.

She told me : Everyone has the same problems. I still have the problem, which my parents didn't like my boyfriend. Sometimes I'm tired of it and I can't give advice to anyone cause I can't still find a solution of it. I don't know what to say to the others.

Relationship is for two. Sometimes isn't.

Sometimes I feel many feelings. But I have to be quite and let the time files.

 You should be too. 

We talked over an hour. I hope she'll visit me soon. Cause I miss her so much.

But my mom said : Even you love each other so much, doesn't mean you can spend a life together.

I have no words. Just wanna throw myself in the bed and wake up again in 2016.